My eyes are on Big Brother
by Jennifer Cohron
Jul 10, 2011 | 1563 views | 0 0 comments | 16 16 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Jennifer Cohron
Jennifer Cohron
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If I were back in college, this week’s column would be about my pretentious TV viewing habits.

Now I am comfortable enough in my own skin to admit that I am a semi-intelligent, hardworking wife and mother who enjoys mindless entertainment.

When I have time to watch TV, I no longer pick programs that make me think. I think all day. It’s overrated.

I want to kick back in front of shows that make me laugh or at least forget. This summer, “Big Brother” will be my escape three nights a week.

Although this CBS reality show is now in its 13th season, Zac and I just discovered it last year and quickly became addicted.

“Big Brother” is a lot like “Survivor” except a group of strangers are stuck in a house with hidden cameras instead of on an island.

Each week they compete to see who will be the new Head of Household (HOH). His or her main responsibility is to nominate two people for eviction.

Then another competition is held to determine who gets the power of veto (POV).

If one of the nominees wins it, he or she can use it to get off the hot seat. If the POV eludes both nominees, they pack their bags and wait on the other house guests to decide their fate.

Once someone is evicted, a new HOH is chosen and the process is repeated.

In between competitions, the roommates spend their time forming relationships. Some are strategic and some are romantic in nature.

Not all of the alliances are common knowledge in the house. In “Big Brother,” as in life, it’s not always easy to tell a friend from an enemy.

The producers make sure that some of the house guests hate each other from practically the first episode. Last season, a girl named Rachel was unpopular with everyone except her beloved Brendon.

She became my favorite cast member because of her catch phrase, “Nobody gets between me and my man!”

It was hilarious because she always screamed it at the camera and seemed oblivious to the fact that the other females wouldn’t touch her man with a 10-foot pole.

Although the whole house hated Rachel, she avoided eviction for a long time because she was such a smart, fiercely competitive player.

When the new season started on Thursday, I was sad that Rachel would be missing. However, fans of “Big Brother” know to expect the unexpected.

One of the first announcements made Thursday night was that the new house mates would be forced to compete in teams of two and several powerful couples from past seasons would be joining them.

The first dynamic duo to walk into the house was Rachel and Brendon.

I jumped off the couch and screamed like a Justin Bieber fan. “Ah! I’ve missed you, girl!” I yelled at the TV in true Rachel style.

The other house guests didn’t seem so happy to see Rachel and for good reason. She won the first HOH competition.

I hope she and Brendon rule the house this year. There are no guarantees, though.

“Big Brother” is all about power. The rules make it impossible to keep it and sometimes you can’t stand the person who has it. That’s why alliances are so important.

Although Zac and I are not social people, I think I’ve devised a strategy for how we could win the $500,000 “Big Brother” prize.

We would compete together but keep our marriage a secret while in the house.

Lies are common on “Big Brother.” Some competitors lie about what they do for a living if they think the truth would make the house guests perceive them as a threat.

Last year, one guy lied about his wife having a life-threatening illness just to win some sympathy votes.

Zac and I wouldn’t lie, just omit an important piece of information.

Once in the house, we would sit back quietly and watch the cliques develop. We’ve had experience at that. It was called high school.

We’d fly under the radar until circumstances forced us to choose sides. Then we would join opposing alliances and work together to break them up.

If anyone became suspicious of us, we might have to stage a few fights to throw them off. I’m sure we’d have no problem making our disagreements look realistic. Again, we’ve had experience.

If everything went as planned, at least one of us would end up in the finals. I would rather it be Zac because he’s nicer than me and would stand a better chance of getting the votes to win.

So that’s how the Cohrons would conquer “Big Brother.” It’s a sneaky way to go about it, but all’s fair in love and war.

We’re in love and “Big Brother” is war.