I’m writing this column the week between Christmas and New Year’s — the old year’s winding down and soon to be a collection of journal entries and photographs on your computer desktop.
In the past, all my New Year’s resolutions revolved around things I wanted to accomplish like losing weight, selling more books, writing more songs, becoming debt free. (We actually did this in 2010, but we didn’t “become” debt free, we had to work our rear-ends off and live on less than we earned.)
But my resolutions were, for the most part, a to-do list.
When I started talking with my lovely spouse Jilda about some of the possibilities, she asked me a question I didn’t expect. She said, “What do you want?”
I know this seems like a fairly simple and straightforward question, but the longer I thought about it, the more I realized it’s a fairly deep question. Figuring out what I REALLY want would involve some soul searching.
For most of my life, “what I wanted” seemed almost immaterial. I had a demanding job, I had family responsibilities, and other things that laid claim on my time.
Oh sure, I daydreamed through the years, but when it came right down to it, I didn’t have a lot of time to sit around thinking about what I wanted out of life.
This year is different. I’ve been “retired” for over nine months, and although I don’t ever seem to slow down, my time is more my own now than at any other time in my life.
Her question hung in the air like the Goodyear Blimp with these words written on the side — “OK Bubba, the ball’s in your court, what do you WANT from life?”
I put my thinking cap on and headed off down to the barn, climbed the stairs, dangled my feet out of the hay-loft, and sat quietly for a while. Life always seems a little clearer from that vantage point at the barn. The only thing that can distract me down there is the sound of old ploughs rusting, and the wind blowing through the hickory, oak, and pine. Well there are birds, but they’re more of a muse than a distraction.
I made a short mental list of the things I really enjoy. I’m not talking about things I can do to make money, but things I REALLY enjoy doing.
When I removed all the boundaries, and pre-conditions, it was exhilarating. I felt almost as if I were flying.
The things I really enjoy doing are:
•Playing music and writing songs
•Having dinner with friends
•Interviewing interesting people
•And fly fishing
This list is not all inclusive, but I felt it was a good start.
Saying what I want is one thing, but how do I go from saying to doing. Well, that part of the plan is a little sketchy. I do know this – when I was a little league hind-catcher I used to harass batters from behind the plate. I’d tell the pitcher – he can’t hit what he can’t see!
This little life lesson could be amended to say, “you can’t do what you want, if you don’t know what you want.” It doesn’t roll off the tongue quite like “he can’t hit what he can’t see,” but it holds true, or at least it does to me.
I now have what I want written on a sticky note and stuck to the wall above my computer. Now that I can “see the ball,” I intend to knock a home run this year.
Happy New Year.